Learning to Fly While Embracing the Fear of Change

Change is inevitable—it’s part of life. From the moment we enter this world, we’re growing, evolving… and probably crying about it. But when change knocks at our door, we panic, resist, or try to negotiate our way out of it—like it’s a bad phone contract we never signed up for.

But is it really the change itself we struggle with, or is it the fear that comes with it? The unknown, the unanswered questions—those are the things that keep us up at night. We convince ourselves that if we just stay put, stay in our comfort zones (or maybe even in bed), somehow, this change will pass us by.

I won’t pretend to have it all figured out—I’m right in the thick of it myself. I’ve finished grad school, and I know I should be studying for my state exam. But deep down, I know that once I pass, there’s no excuse not to take a job in my field—a job I’ve worked hard for and one that I want. And yet, I’ve become comfortable where I am. I like my coworkers. I know what to expect each day. What if I leave and don’t like my new job? What if I don’t get along with my new team?

And isn’t that how change always feels? Whether it’s stepping into a new career, watching a child leave for college (which I’ll be experiencing soon), or facing any other shift in life, we often focus on the “what ifs.” What if it’s worse? What if I regret it?

But here’s the thing—we rarely ask, What if it’s better? So today, I challenge you (and myself) to ask that very question. What if the change we’re avoiding turns out to be better than we ever imagined?

Embracing the Fear of Change

Fear often shows up when we’re about to take a leap—whether that’s in our personal lives, our careers, or our relationships. But just because fear is present doesn’t mean we have to let it control us. It’s easy to think that fear is something we should avoid, something to push aside and pretend doesn’t exist, especially when it comes to change. It feels easier to stay where we are, to stay hidden, rather than face the unknown.

But what if we shifted our perspective? Instead of seeing fear as an obstacle, what if we began to view it as a sign that we’re on the verge of something new? Something better? Change is intimidating, no doubt, but it’s also the very thing that propels us forward. And if we can learn to move through the fear, rather than around it, we just might find ourselves in a place we never thought possible. 

Learning to Fly Through Fear

Now that we’ve discussed embracing the fear, let’s dive into how we can actually fly through it. The first thing we need to realize is that fear doesn’t mean we’re failing—it means we’re human. The emotions we feel are valid, but fear also signals that something wonderful might be just around the corner, if we learn how to fly through it. The key isn’t to avoid fear, but to learn how to move through it. So, how do we do that?

1. Acknowledge the fear.

Most of us are afraid of what’s next—not because we doubt our abilities but because we don’t know what to expect. Naming the fear takes away some of its power. We shouldn't let it define us. Calling it out helps us understand where it’s coming from. Instead of letting it sit in the back of our minds, we call it out: I’m afraid of the unknown.

2. Take small steps.

Change doesn’t have to happen overnight. I’ve started studying for my exam, and that’s my first step. Maybe your first step is researching your next move, having a conversation, or simply sitting with the idea of change without running from it.

3. Control what you can.

Some changes happen on our timeline, while others are out of our hands. We can’t always control when change happens, but we can control how we respond. I can’t guarantee my next workplace will feel as comfortable as my current one, but I can choose to enter it with an open mind.

4. Express what you’re feeling.

Change doesn’t just impact us—it affects the people around us too. Whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers, being honest about what we’re feeling can make the transition easier. Fear doesn’t have to be faced alone.

5. Shift the focus.

Our minds tend to gravitate toward the negatives, but what if we redirected that energy? Instead of asking, What if this change is terrible? We can ask, What if it brings something good? Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones. And maybe—just maybe—on the other side of fear, there’s something better waiting.

Soaring Through Change

We don’t have to rush into change or pretend we aren’t afraid. We just have to learn how to move with fear instead of letting it stop us. Maybe we don’t have it all figured out yet, and that’s okay—growth isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about taking the next step, even when we’re scared.

So, if you’re facing change right now, know that you’re not alone. We’re all learning to fly, even if our wings feel a little shaky.

Now it’s your turn: What’s one step you can take to soar through the fear of your own change?